not a statistic...

April 10th 2009.  Easter Weekend.   
A lot of people have talking about car accidents around me lately.  The above photo is why I have become a bit of an anxious/backseat passenger.  It's really hard thinking back on it all, the 'what if's'........

I remember parts of that night so vividly that the only answer is is that God had me in His arms and only, ONLY by His grace did I make it out alive.  I remember the nurses and doctors talking amongst themselves as if I wasn't there saying how "lucky" I was and how shocked they were.
I remember immediately following the crash how distraught and disorientated I was and I remember cars stopping and people rushing over to me and then everyone yelling and swearing and freaking out as much as me after they had taken one look at me.  I remember blood everywhere.
I remember a lady (I don't know where she came from, but suddenly she was there) getting in on the passengers side of my car, wrapping her arms around me, soothing and comforting me, quieting my screams, letting me know everything was ok and that help would be there soon.  I remember her not worrying about getting my blood all over her or worrying about what everyone else was doing.  That lady was God-sent.

I remember the ambulance arriving and the ambulance officer on duty that night not listening to a word I said about my legs hurting, and I remember her telling me to get out of the car and walk over to the stretcher bed.  I remember her telling me to stop being angry at her.  I remember her giving me bad looks and another doctor doing the same and both of them not believing me when I said I hadn't had anything to drink or 'used' anything.

I remember the long road to recovery.  The face surgery.  The full leg splint.  The cast.  The eye-patch.  The black eye.  The swollen black lip.  The shattered nose.  The nights in hospital.

I still remember a lot and I still can hear the sound of the crash so vividly, which is what makes me so nervous in a car and which is why I want to be the driver and feel in control and not be the passenger.

My left knee-cap, my right foot, my nose, my orbital bone, my cheekbone.  Those were all the broken bones.  My face had gone straight into the steering wheel.

Sheesh, it has made me so grateful for each day of breath, each day I wake up, for being able to walk again and have no complications (accept a crooked nose still) post healing.  It has made me super grateful for all the beautiful people in my life who visited, called, texted, emailed, prayed, took me to appointments, came over to help, and came to take me out for coffee and get me out of the house for a few hours. 

That same weekend I remember hearing about a large number of casualties on the roads in NZ - Easter Weekend always has a high number of fatal crashes.  And I remember getting emotional and wondering howcome I got to be one of the lucky ones.

Every day really is a gift.  A moment to treasure. 
To be thankful.
To give.
To love.
To count your blessings.

I know I have way too many blessings to even count. 
And I know I sound dramatic and there are a lot worse things that people are going through than what I have been through.....but i am just thankful.

In awe.